tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51440232576117622242023-11-15T13:31:10.456-05:00Tribute to Lisa Heyman (October 31, 1960 - February 25, 2008)Celebrations of Lisa's Light and Life Through the Eyes of the People She Touchedmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-74092305800300886092008-03-05T07:34:00.001-05:002008-03-05T07:36:42.334-05:00From Estela Reveles<div>My name is Estela Reveles. I knew Lisa through homeschooling.<br /><br />My contacts with Lisa, even though infrequent, always left me with the feeling that she took a sincere and personal interest in me and my children. Between encounters, she would not forget where we had left off, and I would be struck by how she related to me as a friend. She exuded a warmth that let you know she would always have room for you. I can't imagine how many lives she touched by simply being present. The world is certainly a better place for her having passed through it.<br /><br />My deepest sympathies to her family and all who mourn her passing. </div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-16214341563359480182008-03-04T05:03:00.003-05:002008-03-04T05:13:34.462-05:00From Sue Patterson in TexasI had told my daughter Alyssa (14) that Lisa was sick. And, when she overheard me talking to Pam on the phone, she realized that the worst had happened. After a lot of tears, we talked about our memories of Lisa, Roxy and Ruby.<br /><br />We first met the Heyman/Gauchman family at the Live and Learn conference in St. Louis. Roxy and Alyssa became friends right away. Alyssa couldn't remember exactly how they met, but she remembered them spending a lot of time riding the elevators. And Lisa rode with them, chatting & laughing. No indication that they should stop. The girls roamed the halls together during that conference. I hadn't met Lisa and Larry until that Saturday night. We were all at the Museum downtown. It was a FABULOUS museum. Pam and I joined Larry and Lisa at a table. We really enjoyed talking with them. As we were talking, Lisa and I realized that we were each the mother of our daughters' new best friend at the conference. That was a wonderful surprise.<br /><br />So, after that conference, the girls emailed each other. Lisa and I wrote to each other a few times - primarily to help the girls stay connected. Unfortunately, they weren't going to be able to make it to Albuquerque for the next conference. Alyssa was bummed to not have Roxy there. She received a BEAUTIFULLY hand-decorated invitation to Roxy's Bat-Mitzvah and I really wished we could have gone. We were living in Wichita Falls at the time, and New York seemed so very far away.<br /><br />Roxy and Alyssa were excited to hear that they'd both go to the Live and Learn conference in North Carolina in 2007. Both were interested in cheerleading, so Roxy asked Alyssa to be her assistant with her conference Funshop. Pam & Rosie picked up Alyssa and me at the Charlotte airport. Alyssa and Roxy were back and forth a few times on the cell phone, anticipating their reunion. Lisa's family had arrived a day earlier and Roxie and Alyssa were eager to talk cheerleading.<br /><br />It was so wonderful to see and talk with Lisa there. She was so excited to give her talks. We talked about the girls doing the cheerleading funshop. She and Larry told me how proud they were of Roxy doing a cheerleading camp out of their home in the summer. They told me how she managed the money, the kids, the parents - all of it! We talked about how unnecessary textbooks were to living a real life. We talked a little about our support groups, her rabbi, and how she tried to make all this unschooling make sense to him.<br /><br />Alyssa also had a connection to Fire. Live and Learn offers Fairy Godparents to anyone who would like one. And, Alyssa drew Fire's name. Alyssa went to the cabin to secretly plant a note. Lisa smiled and helped her lay it out on her clothes, so she'd find it right away. Even though Fire figured it out, Alyssa tried to keep it a secret and got her a bracelet and a necklace. It was fun when Alyssa "owned up" to the fact that she really was Fire's Fairy Godmother. And, with one more interesting connection, on the last day, Lisa told Alyssa that she was Alyssa's Fairy Godmother. Alyssa was delighted - she had a very cool Fairy Godmother - with pink hair!<br /><br />I didn't realize until now that Alyssa had been to Lisa's talks. Roxy didn't want to miss her mom's talks, so the girls asked some other girls to run a portion of their Cheerleading Funshop. This way they could go together to hear her. It really was wonderful to witness their mother-daughter relationship. Roxy and Lisa both enjoyed each other's company, checked on each other, supported each other. It was inspiring to see.<br /><br />Alyssa asked me if Roxy knew her mom was sick then, because she cried a few times during the talk. I told her that I didn't think there was any way she could have known. She was probably just so incredibly proud of her mom and what she had to say - all of it glowing about Roxy and Fire. After 12 years of homeschooling/unschooling, I didn't attend Lisa's conference presentation. I regret that now. Alyssa said that what she remembered most about the topic was how important Lisa felt TIME was. Spending time with the girls was paramount - more important than anything else. What a wonderful remembrance that will be for the girls. To know how important they were to their mother. To not just know, but hear it announced for all to hear. I'm sure those tapes will someday be a great comfort to them.<br /><br />As Pam and I were about to leave the conference, Lisa pulled a few of us aside. She wanted to share something about Roxy - that we had to swear to secrecy - she called it Kvelling. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about. What was this term? Paula Sjogerman was with us and she tried to help us understand a little more. They tried to help us pronounce it. They tried to help us understand it. Kvelling, loosely translated, means rejoicing in your children's accomplishments... in a good loving way. It's Yiddish for gushing, and swelling, and delighted. Kvelling. What a wonderful word. And, if I'm using the term correctly, Lisa was kvelling about her daughter. We were honored that she wanted to share it with us. Now THAT should be a conference in itself...a bunch of happy unschooling parents kvelling. ahhh.... THAT would be a wonderful Lisa-Legacy.<br /><br />Lisa's passing reminds me again how important "time" with those we love is... how short it can be. Time. It really is all that matters. And, an occasional Kvelling among friends.<br /><br />Lisa will be missed.<br />All our love to Larry, Roxy, & Firemarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-69808631106900902008-03-01T14:06:00.002-05:002008-03-01T14:09:49.187-05:00From Robin Bentley in Washington State<div>I didn’t know Lisa personally, but I had read her wise words, particularly on the Shine with Unschooling <span style="font-style: italic;">[email]</span> list, over the years. Her messages often ended up in my “Important Posts” folder.<br /><br />I do know people who were her friends and I know how they are both suffering and basking in the light of having known her.<br /><br />On Tuesday morning, I was sitting in meditation, and Lisa came into my mind. I thought of her family, her husband Larry and daughters Roxy and Fire. I sent healing thoughts to them, across the miles. Suddenly, (and I’ve never felt this in my short meditation career) a weightlessness came over my body and I felt bathed in light. In that moment, I felt Lisa’s beautiful spirit lifiting me up. It was the most amazing experience and my tears flowed freely…<br /><br />I wrote on one unschooling list, in response to Kelly’s post about Lisa, that her legacy to me was remembering to allow my daughter’s life to unfold, “in her own way, in her own time.” Though I’ve always subscribed to that idea, I am now taking it into my being in a new, more profound way.<br /><br />Thank you, Lisa. </div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-32209001574474324612008-03-01T14:00:00.000-05:002008-03-01T14:01:54.901-05:00From Joan in New Jersey<div> <div>I have not known Lisa long, but when we met I remember I was immediately struck by how open and joyful she was. Her enthusiasm always made me smile, clearly she loved life, and adored her family.<br /><br />She told me once that our children are "perfect, right now, just the way they are," and I've come back to that thought many times when I've felt myself becoming impatient or otherwise irritated. She was inspiring in the way that she trusted herself. I'm so saddened that her time here was so short.<br /><br />Our family is sending our love, and wishes for peace to Larry, Roxy and Fire,<br />Joan (from NJ)</div></div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-19944624817185683412008-03-01T08:58:00.001-05:002008-03-01T09:00:25.956-05:00From Francine Lucidon in New YorkI didn't see Lisa often but I knew her well. We go way back.<br /><br />Lisa was the person who always reached out in caring. She was an illuminated force that put caring into action - an inspiration to all of us.<br /><br />She was the friend who, after I'd had an exceptionally rough and very public experience, called the next day to gently inquire, with no judgment, "Hey, how're you doing?" She was the one who always checked in, kept those lines of communication open, worked at building and keeping those bonds of community together. She was the one who showed up at our bookstore with her girls and left with armloads. "I HAVE to have hardcovers!" she grinned.<br /><br />I can hear her voice so clearly, her fierce compassion, her strength, her bright, beautiful laughter. I join with our community in great sadness at her passing.<br /><br />Francine Lucidonmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-90339085304069810752008-02-29T23:37:00.003-05:002008-03-01T05:15:23.460-05:00From Sharon Emerson in New YorkHello Marji,<br /><br />I was so sad to hear the news of Lisa's passing. I have sat in front of my computer several times trying to think of what to say.<br /><br />I met Lisa at the L&L Unschooling conference this past Sept. 2007. I thoroughly enjoyed her presentation. I also had an opportunity to talk with her on the couch for a while after her presentation in the BRC <span style="font-style: italic;">[Blue Ridge Center, a building at the site of the conference]</span>. She was just amazing with her wisdom, passion, and compassion.<br /><br />Something I really appreciated about her was that she listened to me asking questions during some of the round table discussions. Then, during one of the speakers, I blurted out one of my fears about television viewing. She happened to be sitting behind me knitting, and she tapped me on the shoulder. Then she said to me that I need to let go of my fear regarding my daughter. It just hit me so profoundly at that moment that I began crying. I literally felt the fear melting away from me through my tears.<br /><br />Lisa also offered to talk with me later and offered me her email address. I didn't pursue her after the speaker ended, because we got caught up in other things.<br /><br />However, I did reconnect with her when I joined RUNNY <span style="font-style: italic;">[Radical Unschoolers in NY email list]</span>. She was so encouraging of me to drive down from Albany to the monthly unschooling meetings. For several reasons I didn't make it down this fall or winter, but I was looking forward to seeing her and meeting others from the group once spring came.<br /><br />I feel so sad that I will not get to see her again and gain more wisdom from her. A few months ago I mentioned an issue I was having with my son on the RUNNY group. Her response was just what I needed to hear. It was so full of acceptance and compassion. The main part of her message was "acceptance in place of expectations." I just love that! I repeat that to myself a lot and to my friends and husband.<br /><br />Thank you, Marji, for providing the forum for me to express my gratitude and unforgettable impact that Lisa had on my life and the life of my family. I only knew her for a brief moment, but it was a life changing experience for me.<br /><br />With love,<br />Sharon Emersonmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-49317265703260285082008-02-29T21:01:00.002-05:002008-02-29T21:14:14.743-05:00From Ben Lovejoy in South CarolinaI did not sleep well Monday night. I'm sure many people had a similar experience. We had received Rue's phone call just 10 hours before I woke up early that Tuesday morning after. When Kelly told me that Lisa Heyman had passed earlier in the day, time stopped and held me captive until I fell asleep that night.<br /><br />Going through my morning routine, I felt a quiet in my soul. I couldn't pinpoint what was making me feel that way since the range of emotions running through my body and mind expanded as far as the unschoolers in our lives. I mounted my trusty bike to make my 12-mile commute to work with clouds to my West and a clearing to the East where I subconsciously knew I'd find the clarity of the pending sunrise.<br /><br />Less than a mile from my home, where the loves of my life slept peacefully, I engage a long, sweeping curve that wakes me completely, if that has yet to happen by this time in my morning rides. The curve is long and could have some blind spots if you aren't paying attention.<br /><br />It is not uncommon for me to meet an on-coming vehicle or have one come upon me from the rear on my rides to work. I rarely feel any danger, but those coming up behind me sometimes make me grip my handlebars a little more tightly.<br /><br />This cold (relative, of course, to those who live in Minnesota, Massachusetts, or Montana) Tuesday morning, I noticed the lights of a car leading me around that curve. I could tell the car was getting closer because the light from my bike dimmed as the car's lights overtook it. Normally, I can tell when a car is passing because the lights go out to my left before the car comes around.<br /><br />This car stayed right where she was, using her headlights to lead me safely around the curve. I felt still, somehow surrounded by the lights of the car and protected by an invisible bubble that held me within its limits. As the curve straightened and the car passed, I looked closer to see the driver. I couldn't clearly see the person, but as the car moved back to the right lane in front of me, the driver beeped the horn, acknowledging my wave from behind. That's when I noticed that I had one hand off my handlebars while the other one sat relaxed atop them.<br /><br />Two miles later and I come to the flat piece of road that offers the most incredible opening for sunrises on mornings like these. This morning was different since the sunrise struggled to showcase its brilliance while lodged between purple clouds which limited the view.<br /><br />But in that crack of the sky where I saw the sun pushing up to the horizon, I witnessed oranges and reds and yellows somehow blending with the purples of the clouds to form the resemblance of a U2 photo I once saw entitled "The Unforgettable FIRE."<br /><br />Indeed …<br /><br />On the one short climb before I turn off to the two-mile road on the Air Force Base where I work, I hear the honking of geese before I see the birds making this distinguishable sound. I turn my head slightly left before noticing three geese heading toward me. In that moment, two of the geese appear smaller than the third one. As I ride and they turn to lead me up that slight incline, I see that the lead one is, indeed, a bit larger than the other two. They form a tight formation as they cross the road ahead of me and disappear in the early morning.<br /><br />Riding onto base about 25 minutes after the initial blast of sunrise in the fiery sky, I notice the clouds have parted to give an unobstructed view of the soft pink canvas that complements the incredible blue sky.<br /><br />The day had matured to create the clarity of that picture, and I was bathed and further calmed by the light. I saw Roxy in that calming light; I thought of her, then Fire, then Larry, and, finally, Lisa. I wept openly and hard as Lisa's wonderful smile and glasses and teeth leapt directly to the front of my thoughts. My tears flowed until I got into my office 15 minutes later.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />If we're lucky, we remember where we were when we learn special people in our lives have passed. Hannah Jenner was with me as I rode across New Mexico two years ago with Kelly (thank you for calling us on that day, Ren); my grandmother was with me in a bed at her niece's home when she woke up to see Kelly again (after several days of quiet sleep) before passing over; and my grandfather was with me in a hospital bed in a coma until he opened his eyes to watch me walk out of the room for the last time.<br /><br />Lisa Heyman was with me when I rode my bike this past Tuesday morning. She made sure I really looked at things that I could take for granted if I weren't watching or listening. She highlighted the wonderful uniqueness of her girls over the course of that sunrise and showed me the fragile flight of the family she now guides from another place.<br /><br />She cleansed me and steeled me further to the importance of what unschooling means to so few, but with the potential to reach so many. She gently reminded me to never forget that morning and carved the permanence of her smile into my mind.<br /><br />Ben, hoping their mom/wife's love envelopes Fire, Roxy, and Larry always and listening to the "Juno" soundtrack over and over againmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-20319705279200377832008-02-29T14:16:00.004-05:002008-02-29T14:35:16.793-05:00From Gillian & Craig in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada"Fire," Lisa's youngest, rules the stage here in Bratzville with her chestnut ponytail flying, a black top, and a cherry red flaming skirt whirling - she never stops, so watch closely and you'll see the power that is Fire!<br /><br />I, like everyone else at the last L&L I think, just took for granted that I would have more time to know Lisa, to know her more deeply, to be with her more, if not now, later. Craig and I are both stunned and shocked and so very sad to have heard of Lisa's passing. We don't know what to say, we wish we could be more for a family in need on the other side of the country, wish we could hold you all, wish we could wrap you in warm love and make you feel "home" the way Lisa's smile always seemed to do for everyone she met.<br /><br />Lisa isn't in this video, but Lisa is the reason this video exists, this time of laughter and joy existed for all these girls (and adults!) romping 'round one small stage in Black Mountain, North Carolina in September 2007 because of Lisa and the Bratz doll funshop she and Larry helped their Fire set up and run. A funshop that was, according to our Effie anyway, the raison d'etre for the entire L&L conference! A funshop that was itself a living memorial to Diana's dear Hannah. A funshop that led to our own Effie suggesting a talent show Bratz dance, that led to her being up on stage (grinning wildly from ear to ear) for the first time in her 8-year-long life.<br /><br />Craig has titled this post "<a href="http://thewonderfulhappens.blogspot.com/2008/02/children-laughing-legacy.html">Kids Laughing:: A Legacy</a>." And that is what I will always think of when Lisa is in my mind - an amazing spirit who blessed all our children with so many moments of joy, both directly and indirectly. And for those of us who lived farther away and just figured we had more time, those indirect ways she influenced us and taught us and led us seem so huge and important and such an amazing gift. Lisa will always be part of us and I know her legacy in our family will be great - Kids Laughing - in situations and at times when, if not for Lisa, we might not have let them, or joined them, or supported them, or even thought to laugh, laugh more, laugh at all. We are blessed to have had Lisa touch our lives.<br /><br />Our thoughts and love are with Larry, Roxy and Fire.<br /><br />Love, Gillian & Craig of Effie (8) and Fergus (4), Victoria BC Canada<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">[<a href="http://thewonderfulhappens.blogspot.com/2008/02/children-laughing-legacy.html">You can see this beautiful video here, at their blog</a>.]</span>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-6345159702832728142008-02-28T20:49:00.003-05:002008-02-28T20:55:29.127-05:00From Kelly Lovejoy in South Carolina<div>The "tag line" of the accountability association I run in SC to allow families to homeschool is "Childhood is NOT a dress rehearsal."<br /><br />Unfortunately, I get reminded of this every now and then. Not that I don't <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> to be reminded. It's just that I wish I weren't reminded in such a harsh way.<br /><br />I think most traditional, conventional parents think of something different when they hear or read it. I think they start considering that we only have this one chance to push our children to do better, to be better, and to strive harder for that medical degree or career choice or..."success" or whatever.<br /><br />That's not the message I get.<br /><br />I've been thinking about what to write now for several days to honor the memory of Hannah Jenner, who died two years ago on February 24. I'd wanted to toss out there that we really DO only have so much time to spend with our children---and even though we <span style="font-style: italic;">think </span>have the rest of their lives to do and be with them, there's no guarantee that they won't be taken from us a whole lot sooner than we think. The time they spend with us should be full of joy and fun and happy, happy thoughts. Their time with us should be filled with <span style="font-style: italic;">our</span> joy in them--that they know that our world is a better place <span style="font-style: italic;">because</span> of them.<br /><br />Hannah's short life is a tough reminder for me to enjoy the children I have--and every single minute. And not a day goes by that I don't think of Hannah (and Sam Wilkerson and Jacob Strebler). 'Cause I just don't know what I would do without Cameron and Duncan. But sometimes, when I'm not my best and my temper is short, I <span style="font-style: italic;">need</span> that little reminder--that this time is a gift.<br /><br />Too often, parents can work so hard helping our children "become" that we forget to enjoy Who They <span style="font-style: italic;">Are</span>--right now, this minute.<br /><br />Lisa Heyman's passing on Monday has stunned this community. And I just can't imagine the pain and loss the Gauchmans are experiencing right now. But I <span style="font-style: italic;">know</span> that the girls, Roxy and Fire, will know that their mom truly valued the time she had with them. She chose to keep the girls close and let them grow "In Their Own Way, In Their Own Time."<br /><br />That's a gift we can ALL give our children. To accept Who They Are--and to revel in it!<br /><br />We have that choice.<br /><br />Lisa understood that childhood is not a dress rehearsal. Lisa worked hard to give her girls the space they needed to grow. She gave them inspired, joyful childhoods. There's not a doubt in my mind that Roxy and Fire will thrive in spite of their huge, huge loss. And a big part of that is the love and acceptance Lisa showered on them. They will be kept warm with her light.<br /><br />Her passing will continue to be a reminder that <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> time with my kids is limited as well. I can choose to make the most of each moment with them as she did. Our world is brighter because of Lisa. And I'm glad I got to know her.<br /><br />Much Love and Many Hugs to Larry and Roxy and Fire.<br /><br /><br />~Kelly</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-40707958990144005652008-02-28T20:14:00.003-05:002008-02-28T20:17:56.246-05:00From Jennifer Price in North Carolina<div> </div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div>I met Lisa Heyman last September at the Live and Learn conference in Black Mountain, NC. She walked up to me, grabbed my hand, and asked, “Are you Seth’s mother?” When I answered in the affirmative, she pressed something into my palm and told me it was a gift to Seth from his secret pal.<br /><br />It was the first night of the conference, and we were by the bonfire. I had been sitting alone, as usual, soaking in the free-spirited atmosphere and excitement of the gathering. Lisa sat with me for a few minutes, and we talked about how it was unschooling in New York. I can’t remember all of our conversation, but I remember thinking “what a cool person.”<br /><br />I remember admiring her from afar throughout our weekend at the conference…her cool pinkish hair, her vibrancy, her easy way with people. She was one of those people who my introverted inner self sometimes wishes I could be like.<br /><br />In skimming through my unschooling lists yesterday, I learned of the passing of Lisa Heyman days ago. I was stunned, and sat there for a minute, not knowing how to react. Then I began reading emails and blog posts from members of the unschooling community in remembrance of Lisa and in support of her family.<br /><br />A friend once told me that there was something truly cleansing about crying in the shower. That’s what I did. I cried for Lisa’s girls and her husband Larry, because now they have to go on without her. I cried for the unschooling community in New York, because it has lost such a powerful advocate. Mostly, I cried for myself, though. For the health that I take for granted. For the precious time that I have wasted being too preoccupied to fully be present with my children. And for not getting to know Lisa while I had the chance.<br /><br />Jennifer Price in North Carolina</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-73763085763324496712008-02-28T19:54:00.002-05:002008-02-29T05:57:02.245-05:00From Marianne Lelieveld in Holland<div>Hallo Marji sweetheart,</div><br /> <div>Thank you, thank you for sharing Lisa's parting here. I have been able to take part in and mourn Lisa's crossing over because of you. I have been able to cry and celebrate Lisa these past days because of your enormous generosity (and of course hers).</div><br /> <div>Lisa was my mentor. When our family visited Westchester (where our d.s. was born) she was always there welcoming us and drawing us into the unschooling circle she had around her. We joined in her ceramics class at Garrison and cooled down at the lake close/next to her home.<br /><br />Over the years she patiently and warmly answered all my email questions and gave me information that I've shared with my homeschooling friends here in Holland. Lisa inspired me and many of my Dutch friends. Because of Lisa my family and other homeschoolers on this side of the Atlantic are leading enriched lives.</div><br /> <div>My thoughts are with you and others here that shared their lives with Lisa. You must miss her so. I cannot begin to imagine how her beautiful daughters and husband are doing without her.</div><br /><div>In sadness and happiness,</div> <div>With many thanks, warm blessings and hugs,<br /><br /></div> <div>Marianne Lelieveld</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-64763380841032172652008-02-28T19:34:00.000-05:002008-02-28T19:36:27.312-05:00From Joanna Faber in New YorkLisa. How could you not smile whenever you saw her coming toward you with that big, warm grin on her beautiful round face? Her curls sproinging around her head perfectly illustrating her energetic, nonconformist personality.<br /><br />I was only an acquaintance, but I always felt good about being part of her community after running into her at the beach, the library or the Learning Center. Talking about raising children, alternative schooling, eating raw food, politics, always that generosity of spirit that let you agree or disagree and still feel embraced. Her happiness and passion for life and for her children was always shining through. It shines through her daughters as well.<br /><br />I remember that art class Roxanne gave to the little kids, including my son, at the learning center. She was so young and yet already so confident, creative and caring of the littler ones. A tribute to her mom, but with her own special style.<br /><br />It doesn't seem possible that Lisa can be gone. Not fair, too soon, too soon!marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-27869362719301935642008-02-28T15:27:00.003-05:002008-02-28T15:30:58.070-05:00From Lenora DeSanctis in New YorkTo Larry, Roxanne, Ruby and all friends and family of Lisa,<br /><br />Though I have only had the pleasure of meeting and talking with Lisa on a few occasions, her beautiful personality left such a lasting impression on me that I felt compelled to write this letter.<br /><br />My first impression of Lisa was actually made by Roxanne. I will never forget my first visit to Garrison Art Center almost 3 years ago. I was brand new into homeschooling my boys Joey, Marco and Nicholas. Roxanne, in her most enthusiastic authentic self, came right up to us and gave us THE MOST warm welcome. I had been a classroom teacher for over 10 years and had never seen such confidence and self-worth come from a 12- or 13-year-old. A few moments later, Ruby came up and introduced herself to us. Again, I was just so enamored with what I was witnessing: confidence, maturity, enthusiasm, love.<br /><br />As soon as I met Lisa, I knew immediately where these beautiful girls got these wonderful gifts.<br /><br />How lucky we all are to have them share that with us. Lisa sat and talked to me, as I know she has done with so many others, and just reassured me regarding my decision to homeschool. We had a few phone conversations here and there, and I always hung up feeling so happy, inspired and again, reassured.<br /><br />My heart goes out to all of you that have had the unique experience of having known Lisa for so long. I can only take all the beauty, life, light and love that she passed my way and pass it on to others. That will be the gift that I can give back to honor her life.<br /><br />Lenora DeSanctis<br />Ossining, NYmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-88112103325545575082008-02-28T15:21:00.003-05:002008-02-29T14:32:19.127-05:00From Ren Allen in TennesseeI was looking through all my Northeast Unschooling conference photos, scouring them for signs of Lisa. I found a couple really nice ones. A smiling, happy one of her and Larry and couple of her hanging out at my ATC funshop making cards. She had her name tag with the attachment at the bottom that read "plays well with others." That's Kathryn's bit of zing there.<br /><br />"Plays well with others." That she did. She played well with LIFE. She seemed fearless and life-full. I don't know that I ever saw her without that huge smile and a contagious laugh. You felt better for having been in her presence.<br /><br />I wrote Marji to ask about sending cards and well-wishes during her difficult health crisis. It was too late. I never got a chance to tell her I was thinking about her in this challenging time. I never sent her copies of the conference photos. We talked regularly at the unschooling lists, but that was always about unschooling, not about telling her the things I wished I'd told her.<br /><br />So in honor of Lisa I want to tell people how beautiful they are. I want to send copies of photos and hand-written notes and let people in my life know they are appreciated. I want to celebrate the lives around me more completely. Thank you, Lisa, for this poignant reminder.<br /><br />Thank you for being you.<br />Thank you for being my friend.<br />You are missed deeply.<br /><br /><br />With much love,<br /><br />Ren<br /><br /><br />P.S. I meant to send this along too...it was so cool. This Storypeople quote was in my email this morning. I think it exemplifies Lisa's entire family:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">This is a creature on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing, instead of the whole world.</span></blockquote>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-80834710305971930422008-02-28T14:12:00.001-05:002008-02-28T14:14:00.698-05:00From Vicki Harkness in New YorkI never had the privilege of meeting Lisa in person. We emailed back and forth and of course I read all of the beautiful and very insightful postings on the various unschooling lists that we both belonged to.<br /><br />When I introduced myself on the RUNNY <span style="font-style: italic;">[Radical Unschoolers in NY email] </span>list, Lisa had asked if they could come to our farm. I said of course and looked forward to their visit. Due to her declining health, they were never able to make that visit. If her family still wants to come to the farm, I hope they do, as they are most welcome!<br /><br />I am so saddened by her loss and feel empty. To me, Lisa felt like a grounding rod of our unschooling community. Reading her posts helped me stay true to what I believed in, her posts always seemed to remind me to stay focused and grounded.<br /><br />I am so sad to have not met her in person. Yesterday as I was searching for an email in my inbox, one of Lisa's emails popped up. I sat there and read it with tears flowing down my cheeks. <br /><br />Lisa, you touched me so. We will miss you.<br /><br /><br />With love,<br />Vicki Harkness<br />Millbrook NYmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-49474349985992269342008-02-28T14:05:00.001-05:002008-02-28T14:08:17.541-05:00From Tracey Catanach in New York<div>I haven't ever met Lisa in person. I've known her for a short amount of time on various Yahoo Unschooling groups (FUNNY and then RUNNY), but I never quite got around to making the trip to her home for a meeting.<br /><br />I have always respected Lisa and her family, and looked to them for guidance in this "radical" unschooling journey. I have learned SO MUCH from Lisa's posts and generosity. Whether the "discussion" was a Socrates quote or making financial decisions as a family, I've always looked forward to reading Lisa's replies.<br /><br />Reading back through her posts today, I've re-learned a few things as well...and here's one of my favorite things that Lisa had to say:</div><br /> <div><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">[Lisa Heyman] I always find it interesting when life interrupts an intended journey - perhaps indicating there is another path that is of more significance at the moment.</span></blockquote></div><br /><div>:) Thank you for continuing to <span style="font-style: italic;">make</span> me think, Lisa!</div><br /><div>~Tracey Catanach in Western New York</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-60061518210557289692008-02-28T13:57:00.001-05:002008-02-28T14:01:03.187-05:00From Karen Ranzi in New JerseyI met <span>Lisa many years ago through a parenting group and homeschooling activities. Early on, from the days that she led folk dancing for a small group of us homeschoolers at Carole Blane's house, Lisa stood out to me because of her enthusiasm for life, her amazing energy in any endeavor she took part in, and her deep love of her family.</span><br /><br /><span>When I first began homeschooling my two children in 1995, I was very worried about them learning all the subjects that were offered in school so I insisted that the children work on specific topics with me at home a couple days of the week. This often involved coercing them to engage in topics not of interest to them.<br /><br />Over the years, when I would see Lisa with her children, I observed her dedication to respecting their needs and interests and never to force them in any way. Lisa was gifted with a confidence in her loving attitude toward her children which I felt was contagious. She was a leading influence in my life, and her example made me examine my own parenting practices. I realized through this beautiful guiding light what was really important were my expressions of love and respect for my children.<br /><br />Lisa motivated my husband Harvey and I to go to the unschooler's conference in Massachusetts last May. We participated in a parenting workshop led by Lisa and her supportive husband, Larry. I felt the power of her words which spoke about following the needs of the child and adolescent, and it is Lisa's influence that has helped me so many times in the past years to establish this loving and respectful relationship with my teenagers. Lisa would spend much time with me on the phone and at unschooling meetings giving me the confidence I needed to withstand outside pressures in disagreement with unschooling values.</span><br /><br /><span>I was recently visiting a mutual friend of Lisa's and mine in Costa Rica, Beth Corwin, who wrote a letter with a prayer for Lisa's recovery and to send blessings to her, which I was to deliver to Lisa upon my return on Monday. The ending quote that I will share with you sums up the way we and many others feel about Lisa:</span><br /><br /><span></span><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">Some people come into our lives,</span> <div><span style="font-size:85%;">Leave footprints in our hearts,</span></div> <div><span style="font-size:85%;">And we are never the same.</span></div></blockquote><div><span></span></div> <div><span> </span></div> <div><span>Karen Ranzi</span></div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-72847800976214345082008-02-28T13:50:00.002-05:002008-02-28T15:39:18.413-05:00From Laurie Margolis in New York<div>Yesterday, before the funeral, I reread my last email message from Lisa sent on February 9th. This was the last line:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">The journey continues - we continue to search for answers.</span></blockquote>A wise thought from a very wise woman.<br /><br />Lisa was someone you could ask about anything and get the right information. I don't think any of us can believe a heart that big could stop beating.The rabbi at the funeral was wonderful and I was struck by his advice to Larry. He quoted that it takes a village to raise a child and that Larry was surrounded by his village at the grave. I hope Larry takes that to heart and calls on many of us for whatever help we can supply.</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-89312907976375048572008-02-28T13:43:00.002-05:002008-02-28T13:47:24.286-05:00From Kelli Traaseth in MinnesotaIt's so hard for me to put strong feelings into words. I wrote a few things for my blog that I'd like to share here. Pretty much the fleeting feelings and thoughts that have been jumping through my brain for the last couple days. I keep telling myself to stay in that light and energy that Lisa would like, but it is really hard, I'm also so sad.<br /><br />Sending our love to Larry and Roxy and Fire~<br /><br />****<br /><br />Lisa,<br />We love you.<br /><br />We'll miss you and wish we had more time with you.<br /><br />We'll revel in the amazing love you shared,<br /><br />Remember the kindness you always showed us,<br /><br />And hope to be as accepting as you always were.<br /><br />An amazing woman, mother, wife and friend.<br /><br />Our thoughts are surrounding you and your family~<br /><br />******<br /><br />and<br /><br />*******<br /><br />Today we are missing a beautiful soul, but we will remember her light.<br /><br />Today tears will be shed, but we will still laugh and find joy for Lisa and all our children.<br /><br />Today I will rededicate a friendship circle. In Lisa's honor, I will let go of hurt feelings from past friendships and light a candle to celebrate my new friendships.<br /><br />Today I will remember to be open and accepting and see the beauty of our life. Even in the face of sadness and death there is light, and there is hope.<br /><br />Lisa's presence always filled me with light, love and energy.<br /><br />So, even if you never knew Lisa, please give your kids a hug today in her honor. Give them a hug filled with light, love and energy. Laugh together, love together, don't miss a moment.<br /><br />Live your life to the fullest.<br /><br />Love, Kellimarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-6176521573794339692008-02-28T09:42:00.002-05:002008-02-28T13:34:15.288-05:00From Aimee Vanduyne of New JerseyI met Lisa at the Unschoolers conference in Peabody, MA, in 2004. My daughter met Roxy and our families came together. I was new to homeschooling, and newer to unschooling, and Lisa and her family were the perfect people to meet! We have only had contact a few times since then, but I have used Lisa’s life as a guide to my unschooling. Her light was evident in the beauty of her children, and my heart is breaking for them now.<br /><br />Aimee Vanduynemarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-28408555488131444412008-02-28T08:56:00.002-05:002008-02-28T08:59:13.526-05:00From Elizabeth Mayer in New York<div> </div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div>I experienced a horrible pain to return from a trip and read about beautiful Lisa, and her family. I met Lisa and Roxanne only once; but often read Lisa's words and gained from her pearls of wisdom, her and her families gifts to us in sharing with the community and humanity. The world is a better place from the legacy of all Lisa offered and beauty. She instilled that in her daughters and they are incredible people.<br /><br />Lisa always awed me with her unceasing energy and joy in life and her family. She was inspirational.<br /><br />I tried to write Lisa in December to thank her for introducing our family to Thunder Ridge where we found a ski area and have been gently introducing Tamar and Eli to our beloved sport of skiing. The Wednesday we went Lisa and her gang were happily heading to Jay Peak to enjoy a great snow fall. My note to her bounced back to me so Lisa never received it. I thank her in my heart. Lisa impacted so many families as she nurtured us by sharing knowledge, creativity and an investment in all of the community.<br /><br />I miss her so much already and do not even know that she knew how much she meant to me from reading all she wrote. I could not sleep last night. I keep thinking of her family and their tremendous loss. I have them all in my heart and will send them a card to share these thoughts.<br /><br />I am very sad and emotionally impacted by this unexpected news.<br /><br />Elizabeth Mayer</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-65113735997695786162008-02-28T08:43:00.001-05:002008-02-28T08:45:42.606-05:00From Dayna Martin in New HampshireI met Lisa at the 2006 Northeast Unschooling Conference. Her confidence and love for her children were such an inspiration to me. When our family first arrived at the conference, the first person I noticed was Fire, and this interaction set the tone for the entire weekend for me. It was so admirable to me that a parent would honor their child's request to go by a name of their choosing. Although it may seem like a small thing, it brought me to a new level of understanding of respect for my children.<br /><br />Over a year ago my daughter Dakota informed us that she wanted to be called "Tiffany." So many people, both family and friends, told us that we shouldn't honor our daughter's request . I never swayed from my <span style="font-style: italic;">knowing</span> that respecting my daughter in this way was the right thing to do. I always remembered the respect that Lisa had for her daughter Ruby to be called "Fire," and her respect empowered me to honor Dakota (a/k/a Tiffany) in the same unwavering way. I may not have had such clarity on the issue if it wasn't for Lisa.<br /><br />This is just one of many ways that Lisa inspired me over the years. She touched so many during her life. I am very grateful that she touched ours.<br /><br />Dayna Martinmarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-83732372301372548612008-02-28T08:35:00.001-05:002008-02-28T08:37:48.836-05:00From Mary Ann Baiyor in New York<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">[Mary Ann manages and edits the Tri-County Homeschoolers email loop and newsletter, and this is what she submitted]</span></span><br /><br />Lisa Heyman was buried yesterday on a beautiful hilltop in Putnam Valley, surrounded by hundreds of family and friends to mourn her passing and celebrate her life. Many of us were dressed in the brightest of bright clothing. :-)<br /><br />People spoke of the passion, energy and vitality that Lisa brought to everything she did. I saw her legacy in her beautiful children, Roxy and Fire. I was struck by both the grief and the composure of her loving husband, Larry. We all felt deeply her too-early death.<br /><br />As we stood in the frigid cold on this icy, wind-swept hill I thought of how Lisa would have loved that day. She was an intrepid soul, not cowed by anything like a little cold weather or some snow or ice. I felt her presence and her strength and I resolved to carry her spirit and vitality forward in this community and the bigger world beyond.<br /><br />Reading [the contributions to this tribute to Lisa] reminded me of how much Lisa gave to everyone she touched. Thank you, Lisa, we will not forget you!marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-31875773371497459102008-02-28T08:21:00.003-05:002008-02-28T08:27:44.139-05:00From Kathy in New YorkI never met Lisa IRL <span style="font-style: italic;">[in real life]</span>, only through Funny, Runny and Shine <span style="font-style: italic;">[email lists: Families Unschooling in NY, Radical Unschoolers in NY, and Shine with Unschooling, respectively]</span>. I admire her, truly. I love her post from Runny <span style="font-style: italic;">[which begins with]</span>:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">As i sit here to work on 4th quarter reports and year end for my two girls (or don't as i am a great procrastinator) i am struck by how i've been able to really reflect the unschooling nature of our lives and how much they learn within the realm of requirements and way way beyond what is listed. Certainly if you look at the regs for years 1 through 6 or 8 a child can't help but learn what is required. Even later readers aren't qualified in terms of what literature they need be exposed to in what manner and audio books have been the greatest benefit to our family. While i've used it myself in IHIP's, i've come to realize the worldbook outline makes it more complicated than need be. <span style="font-style: italic;">[it continues from here]</span><br /></span></blockquote><br />This is my favorite part of what she wrote:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;">My reports are not lists but sentences describing the activities and learning that happens. I also *have to* include my dd's <span style="font-style: italic;">[daughters']</span> evolving natures and who they are that is not required by the requirements. Without that, the reports do feel totally false.</span></blockquote><br />Lisa didn't let the insensate reporting requirements define any part of Their Unschooling Lives. Yet, she just flowed with what was required in a way that is so admirable. She remains an inspiration to me, always.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Kathymarjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5144023257611762224.post-41443118996510851992008-02-28T07:08:00.002-05:002008-02-28T07:10:18.339-05:00From Gina Riley-Daley in the New York Area<div>I am so, so, sad now...</div> <div> </div> <div>I have most of Lisa's writings saved in my homeschooling file. Whatever the problem, what ever the question, she always was there with this amazingly beautiful, down to earth reponse. She was so comfortable in who she was and what she was doing. She made things amazingly easy, wonderfully simple.<br /><br /></div> <div>For all of us.<br /><br />The last time I saw Lisa was at the Closter Nature Center. I emailed her afterward to tell her how beautiful her family was, how impressed I was with her children. She didn't need to be told. She knew it deep in her heart. But she wrote me a heartfelt response anyway.<br /><br />I cannot believe she is gone.</div> <div> </div> <div>I walk around hoping I am doing the right thing. Lisa knew. She always knew. She always followed her heart. <br /><br />She would know what to say here. I am at a loss for words.<br /><br />I will miss you Lisa. I will miss your love of life, your fierce love for your husband and children, and your deep inner sense. I will miss your writing, I will miss your presence.<br /><br />May I grow to be more like you everyday...you are, and will always be, a true inspiration to me.<br /><br />The world will never be the same without you.</div> <div> </div> <div>Gina Riley-Daly</div>marjihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06178397457481604557noreply@blogger.com0