From Anne Ohman in New York ~ Things We Did Say, Things We Didn't Say

As Jake and Sam and I go through our day today, with each moment we are also living it through the eyes and heart of Larry, Roxy and Fire. Of course we can't know completely exactly how they feel...but we are there with them as much as we are able to be. The saddest was when Jake woke up and, with tears in his eyes, said to me, "Roxy and Fire are waking up today and their Mom is not there."

We are still living Joyfully today...a distracted Joyful, weaving in and out of deep sadness. And every moment is going to honoring Lisa and her Light.

When I first met Lisa on the NY unschooling list, I thought, "Wow ~ we have so much in common!" Did I tell her that while I could? I do think I did.

I was happy to finally meet Lisa in person after knowing her from the NY list and here at [the] Shine [With Unschooling List]. I met her last September, at the Live and Learn conference. Her energy was wonderful, and I imagine it's still the same glorious energy today, just in a different form. I remember when I first got to talk to her husband, Larry. I was thinking, "Wow. What a really cool guy. Lisa is so blessed." Did I tell him that? I don't think so. Did I tell her that? Nope.

I didn't run into Lisa much at the conference, as our kids were going in different circles/directions. I did see Roxy once in awhile, and Jake, Sam, Maeve and I would talk about how nice she was...how beautiful her smile was. Did we tell her that? Nope.

And then there was Fire. Fire is amazing. If you know Fire, you know what I'm talking about. She gave herSelf that name. And it's Pure Truth. If you don't know Fire, just imagine an ever-illuminating, constantly MOVING light...one that spreads Warm, Loving Light to all corners of the Universe.

On the first night of the talent show, we sat in the row behind Larry and Lisa. We chatted a bit. When it was Fire's turn to be on stage, she went up and started her music. She did an incredible dance...starting over again from the beginning when it wasn't quite what she had wanted.

After dancing for a couple of minutes, Fire came out into the audience. She would look at people and grab their hands and pull them up on the stage with her to dance. It wasn't just a dance. It was a celebration. I think everyone could feel that. My boys and our friend Maeve and I had talked about Fire a lot before that talent show. We all just thought she was amazing. When she was pulling people onto stage to dance, to celebrate, I looked at my boys and Maeve and we all just SMILED!! It felt like a deeply spiritual experience to me...watching this little prophet spread the infinite amount of Love that she held. And, of course, the more she spread it, the more she received.

I leaned forward and tapped Lisa's shoulder. I said to her, "I. Love. That. Child."

She smiled and said, "Me, too."

......

Out of all of the things that I did say, and the things I didn't say, I'm so glad I said those words to Lisa. I know that she knows that it was one of the best forms of "I Love You."

I remember years ago, Oprah had on a woman who was dying. Since she knew her time was limited, she pulled her kids out of school and spent loads of time with them. They took trips that they had been wanting to take, and lived their biggest dreams. And yet, when the child was asked what was the most special time she spent with her mother, the child said something like this: "When we would be up together late at night and would have a bowl of cereal together and talk."

Our lives as unschoolers is all about that bowl of cereal.

Lisa knew this. Lisa lived this.

While my perspective of life has not changed since Lisa's passing ~ I already live mindfully in Joy with my children every single day ~ I am reminded to say those Loving thoughts out loud to those people who have touched my heart. I already do this...but most certainly not enough.

My heart hurts for this family, to be without their Mom. When Diana Jenner's daughter passed, Lisa wrote to me, "How are we to go on?"

Now her family is learning exactly that which she had asked. We all are.

Last night, Sam came to me, tears in his eyes, and said, "I couldn't, Mom. I couldn't go on without you." And I hugged him back so hard and so tight. Crying, I said, "But you could...you would learn how...and that's the part that breaks our hearts...that's the part that's so so sad."

And yet, that's also the part that is so very wonderful about being alive on this earth. The learning. The growing. Sometimes it's more painful than other times. But we do walk forward...as always...toward the Light from within our hearts.

Thank you, Lisa, for Your Light.

Love,

Anne