From Sharon Emerson in New York

Friday, February 29, 2008

From Sharon Emerson in New York

Hello Marji,

I was so sad to hear the news of Lisa's passing. I have sat in front of my computer several times trying to think of what to say.

I met Lisa at the L&L Unschooling conference this past Sept. 2007. I thoroughly enjoyed her presentation. I also had an opportunity to talk with her on the couch for a while after her presentation in the BRC [Blue Ridge Center, a building at the site of the conference]. She was just amazing with her wisdom, passion, and compassion.

Something I really appreciated about her was that she listened to me asking questions during some of the round table discussions. Then, during one of the speakers, I blurted out one of my fears about television viewing. She happened to be sitting behind me knitting, and she tapped me on the shoulder. Then she said to me that I need to let go of my fear regarding my daughter. It just hit me so profoundly at that moment that I began crying. I literally felt the fear melting away from me through my tears.

Lisa also offered to talk with me later and offered me her email address. I didn't pursue her after the speaker ended, because we got caught up in other things.

However, I did reconnect with her when I joined RUNNY [Radical Unschoolers in NY email list]. She was so encouraging of me to drive down from Albany to the monthly unschooling meetings. For several reasons I didn't make it down this fall or winter, but I was looking forward to seeing her and meeting others from the group once spring came.

I feel so sad that I will not get to see her again and gain more wisdom from her. A few months ago I mentioned an issue I was having with my son on the RUNNY group. Her response was just what I needed to hear. It was so full of acceptance and compassion. The main part of her message was "acceptance in place of expectations." I just love that! I repeat that to myself a lot and to my friends and husband.

Thank you, Marji, for providing the forum for me to express my gratitude and unforgettable impact that Lisa had on my life and the life of my family. I only knew her for a brief moment, but it was a life changing experience for me.

With love,
Sharon Emerson

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About This Blog

Lisa was buried yesterday, February 27, 20008, very near her home in Lake Peekskill, New York. The part of New York where she was "laid to rest"* is just to the east of the beautiful Hudson River and is notable for its verdant, rolling hills. The site where she was buried is, if my navigational skills are intact, in a western-facing slope of one of these hills, providing the viewer with a breathtaking vision of hills and valleys.

If standing on a rather steep slope under a steely
February sky with a biting, chilly wind weren't, um, challenging enough, the slushy snow and ice underfoot definitely added an intensity to the moment. Every now and again, someone would succumb and suddenly slip, even though they were standing still.

Yet, somehow we were warm, all of us there together. (We reminded me, just a little, of the penguins who huddle in Antarctica. Okay. Perhaps I'm exaggerating just a tad!)

The rabbi who conducted the service (I didn't catch his name) was eloquent and impassioned. As Liam's young friend Ben said as we drove home later, "How could he not be? He had excellent material to work with." So true. You really got the sense, you knew that this man knew Who Lisa was. He was thorough and kind.

When the opportunity for the mourners to speak came, I stepped up with my 20-page-long list of messages, some lengthy, some brief, that had been sent from very near and very far. Before I left the house for the funeral, I timed the reading of the whole thing and found it to exceed 30 minutes' duration! And that was with some editing. I felt that I couldn't do that to this slipping-and- sliding, shivering bunch. So, although I was prepared to read all the submissions, I read only one rather concise piece and told folks that they could look at the tribute blog I am creating to see the rest in all their unabridged beauty. You are here now.

For a while, there, last year, Lisa and I and a couple of other local unschoolers (Mary Ann and Robin) were trying to get an unschooling information night going for folks who expressed an interest in learning about unschooling. I believe it was Lisa's idea, and she invited me to participate ~ how incredibly honored I felt! For some reason tonight, after the funeral, I looked back through our email exchanges; we were
working on refining the notices for the event and the event itself. Looking through these emails, I felt a sharp pain in my heart that I will not be having these exchanges any longer with this impossibly wonderful, bright, sweet person.

We also talked about her puzzling, frustrating illness in many of these emails; the illness, by the way, precluded our ever getting this thing off the ground. It was the consensus of the three of us, Mary Ann, Robin, and me, that Lisa and Roxanne and Ruby were indispensable; I felt they could have gotten along without me just fine, but I couldn't imagine the thing without Lisa. ::sigh::

I'm really rambling when I ought to be sleeping. If you're moved to add a contribution to this tribute and you haven't already sent me something, please do send me something now. It'll never be too late.

Sending you love,

Marji

** For the record, while Lisa's body may have been "laid to rest," I believe her spirit SOARS and will never, ever "rest." (Okay, maybe for a moment or two.) I believe she is as proactive in spirit as she was in the flesh and she is still spreading her joyful Lisa-ness now everywhere.

Tribute to Lisa Heyman (October 31, 1960 - February 25, 2008)

Friday, February 29, 2008